I remember hearing talk when I was young about druggies and ‘those people,’ and they didn't know it yet, but I was one of those people, I was already headed in that direction. Today I'm proud to be in recovery. I'm proud to be one of ‘those people.’ One of the people in recovery, one of the people who have survived substance use disorder, found a new meaning of life, and is able to help others.

It wasn't long after beginning using that I noticed it became my priority. And where I had done pretty well in school before that, schoolwork stopped mattering, homework stopped mattering, even sports stopped mattering as much. My focus became getting and using more, staying under the influence, and making sure that I always had enough substances available to keep going. For years, I tried to keep that party going. But eventually, all my other friends went on to college, get good jobs, get married and start raising families. They moved on with their lives. And I really didn't.

A family member came to me and said, "We've seen what's been going on with you. We're going to help you get into treatment. If you want to go, we will support you with whatever you need to make this happen. And if you get there and you don't like anything that you hear and none of it connects, and you just want to go back to what you were doing, nobody can stop you. But we have to try, we have to give you a chance to get some help." I took that opportunity.

In inpatient treatment, when I first got clean, I was surrounded by other people seeking recovery. And some of those same people that were in the room that day stayed a part of my life for many years after that, because when I left treatment, I right away realized that I could not stay clean a single day without help. I went to every single meeting I possibly could. And in between meetings, I was at a coffee shop hanging out with other people in recovery. I just immersed myself in that community.

I really feel like that made a huge difference. I've been in recovery for 17 years now, and I'm living a life that I never thought was possible for me. There are so many people in my life now that love me and that I love. I never thought I was going to have kids because I always imagined that I was too selfish to care about other people that much. And now I have a family with a wife and three kids, and I'm constantly amazed by how easy it is to love them.

Why is recovery worthwhile? That’s kind of like asking why is a shower worthwhile? Or why is eating, or love, or life worthwhile? Why are relationships worthwhile? I can certainly identify when folks feel like they’re not, like none of it is. I remember what it felt like to not have a sense of purpose. I remember the isolation that comes with active addiction. I remember the hopelessness and unmanageability, I remember how alone I felt, thinking that nobody really understands.

Thankfully, there are people who do understand. There are people who want to help, and a lot of us have been there ourselves. We know from personal experience that recovery is possible. It's not necessarily a quick fix, like take a pill, go to a week of treatment, wave a magic wand and it's over. For most people, recovery is an ongoing process, with new growth every step of the way. It became clear to me early on that I couldn't do it alone. And the good news was, I didn’t have to. I’m deeply grateful to all the family, friends, and service providers who helped support my recovery. And, so, I try to be there for others in the same way.

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